we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
