How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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