they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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