Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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