if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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