Your dad touched me again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize