my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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