I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
