you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
