shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
