Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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