whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
