I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
