ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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