Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize