New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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