That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
