We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
