i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
