sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
