Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
