I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
