Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
