So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
