I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize