grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
