i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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