there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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