he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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