So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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