I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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