those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
