One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize