I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
did you just send me my own nude
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
