you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
