To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
