these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
