I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
