So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize