i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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