I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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