Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
