Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
