im six kinds of drunk right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize