maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
pray to the hookup gods
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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