Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
