question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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