Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize