Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
