Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
ttyl tear gas
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
