I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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