TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
