Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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