ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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