I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
