3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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