i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
