Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
