i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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