Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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