Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize