Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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