Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize