Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
