She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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