it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
