I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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