Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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