Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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