return my video game
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
dude. I can hear the air.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
