just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's Friday. Sex?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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