My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
